April Fools Humour

I was in a discussion on twitter last night about the 'joys' of visual studio, and how frustrating it was with (what should be) basic functions crashing in a great big ball of fire. This guy responded with a comment in a similar format to a commandment:

Properties are set in stone. Thou Shal not rename, nor shall thou covet the name of another property
This cracked me up laughing, so I challenged him to come up with a complete set. And here they are for all your April Fools pleasure!

1 - I am Struct, the class and the instance. I have freed you from the bondage of x86 assembler. You shall have no other assemblers b4 me.

2 - You shall not write your own compiler, or disassembler, or interpreter. For the CLR is all you need, If you try 2 map it you will go mad

3 - Thou shall not blame me for your errors of logic. Nor will you blame the build system. M$ Hath given you all that you need to deliver.

4 - Remember the Beer O'Clock. For labouring over code forth to long will cause you to overlook your own stupidity.

5 - Honor your team lead. For it is his ass that will beith on the line when your "I had a bad day" code gets into the release.

6 - You shall not murder. Except where a person usith an abbreviated type in the nameth of a variable. ie bIsItNew. Or usith an empty catch

7 - Thou shall not combine multiple frameworks that perform the same function. Nor multiple versions of the same framework.

8 - Tho shall steal, lots, where tho can. If one didn't want there code stolen they wouldn't have blogged it.

9 - Tho shall not use Exceptions as program flow control. Nor shall tho assume success unless it has been proven. For these are false.

10 - Properties are set in stone. Thou shall not rename, nor shall thou covet the name of another property.

These are straight from the tweets themselves, and I hope they give you many LOLs, as they certainly did for me :) Happy April Fools everyone!